Hard to believe we are already almost a month into 2016! Looking back, I suppose I didn’t do the best job keeping up with my blog last year… In January 2015, I wrote in my post To Travel is to Live that my plan for the year was to write 2-3 posts every month about a snapshot of each country I have been to, such as a memory, a lesson learned, or an impression. Nothing too long, and in no particular order, but the idea being that the pieces will begin to fit together as a whole to illustrate my journey as a traveler and wanderluster. Well, I managed to write about six in total (oops!) — USA, Portugal, Wales, Germany, Belgium and Luxembourg — out of the 37 countries I have now been to. Goals for 2016… write about 12 more! And no better way than to start with England, the country I called home for 2½ out of the past 3 years.
England was one of those rare places where I could have seen myself settled and happy for a long while. And being Dean of Student Development at Harlaxton College was in so many ways the perfect dream job. One I may never have again.
Choosing to leave Harlaxton was not just leaving Harlaxton. It was leaving England, the UK, friendships that had been developing for over two years. It was leaving my students who are the reason I love my job. It was leaving my cozy wonderful apartment, the peaceful countryside walks and stunning clock tower views. It was leaving meals cooked for me morning, noon, and night. It was leaving adventurous weekend getaways all over Europe. But it was also leaving living inside my head for a lot of the time, the never ending work days, the late night phone calls and knocks on my door for hospital visits (sick and injured students). It was leaving the 150+ souls I cared and thought and worried about, and got attached to, each semester they were in my care — and then they were gone. It was leaving the semester after semester repeat of highs and lows. It was leaving a country I know I could call home for a very long time, and that hurt my heart and still does. But more so than leaving there, it was coming to a new here (aka Australia!).
Choosing to leave Harlaxton was not just leaving Harlaxton. It was leaving England, the UK, friendships that had been developing for over two years. It was leaving my students who are the reason I love my job. It was leaving my cozy wonderful apartment, the peaceful countryside walks and stunning clock tower views. It was leaving meals cooked for me morning, noon, and night. It was leaving adventurous weekend getaways all over Europe. But it was also leaving living inside my head for a lot of the time, the never ending work days, the late night phone calls and knocks on my door for hospital visits (sick and injured students). It was leaving the 150+ souls I cared and thought and worried about, and got attached to, each semester they were in my care — and then they were gone. It was leaving the semester after semester repeat of highs and lows. It was leaving a country I know I could call home for a very long time, and that hurt my heart and still does. But more so than leaving there, it was coming to a new here (aka Australia!).
Lessons I learned working in England:
(1) I love working with students, in every capacity. At Harlaxton, this even included the disciplining (perhaps "teaching moments" is a better phrase). The counseling sessions, even when I didn't know what to say. The fact they were mostly all taller than me and looked the same age. It included the orientation sessions, social and cultural events, and conversations over meals or drinks in the bistro. It included knowing all of their gossip because I was with them 24/7. Cheering them on in their talents: sports, music, comedy, theatre, poetry. Hearing about their weekend travels all over Europe and sometimes beyond. Helping them call their bank because their card had been frozen, or an airline because they didn’t enter the European date correctly for their flight. Giving advice on a roommate problems, or a class issue. Getting thank you cards and the tearful hugs goodbye on departure day.
Students and seeing their growth, and being a part of that growth, are the reward and the reason I do the work I do.
(2) I do not want to be a Dean of Students (despite point 1). At least I do not want to be a Dean of Students that lives where I work and works where I live. The line separating personal and professional becomes too blurred. Blurred to the point that my personal life is my professional life and I forget that things like meeting up with friends after work is a thing, because there is no “after work.” It all is work. And all my friends are at work. All the time. Which can be both wonderful and claustrophobic at the same time!
(3) People come and they go, but they aren't really gone. Places like Harlaxton will remain and live on, whether I’m there or not. The place is so much more than the sum of its parts. I am fortunate to have been, and continue to be, a part of it for the hundreds of students who have passed through during their “Harlaxton Experience” over the 2½ years I worked there. They have touched me and I am forever changed. And we all go on in our hundreds of ways, held together by shared experiences and memories; held together by that magical place.
(4) I am experience driven, not career driven. I am not worried about what my next job will be. Nor where I will “end up” in five years, or ten years. I focus on where I am today and now, and if I’m happy and if it’s time to make the next move. Perhaps this is not the most financially secure outlook, but I'm not money driven either. (I recognize that I am privileged in this sense, since I have security in many family members and friends who I can reach out to if I get stuck and am in need of a loan or a place to go. Not everyone has that, and I am more than grateful). Harlaxton was a dream job for me and I am so appreciative of the time I spent there. But I was also ready to breathe and live my next experience, too.
A good friend of mine once told me years ago before going away (again) on one of my big trips that he hoped I found what I was looking for. I have thought about his words a lot. What am I looking for? Love? A place to call home? A happily ever after? And then I realized I have already found it. The movement, the flow, the constant change of here and now. That is where I find comfort and love and a place to call home.