Nearly ten years ago, I almost had a son. Well, not exactly biologically, but if the situation and timing were right, I would have adopted Kolya in a heartbeat.
I had just completed my freshman year at Wake Forest University and while in college, I planned to take advantage of every travel opportunity I could get. In addition to the more traditional study abroad semesters and summers, Wake Forest also offers domestic and international service trips through their Volunteer Service Corps office. Although now discontinued, they used to have a program in Moscow, Russia working at Orphanage 105.
Looking back, I’m not sure why I chose that program over the others. I don’t remember Russia ever being high on my destination list, and at the time I didn’t have much experience with or interest in children. But I applied and was accepted as one of the ten students who got to go for two weeks over the summer in 2006. Leading up to the trip, each participant had to fundraise a certain amount of money to cover their airfare and program expenses through letter writing to family and friends. We also attended weekly meetings to get to know each other, go over program logistics, and to learn more about Russian culture and what it would be like working in the orphanage. In addition to the 10 program participants, there’s also a student leader (who has gone on the service trip before as a participant) plus a faculty leader.
Looking back, I’m not sure why I chose that program over the others. I don’t remember Russia ever being high on my destination list, and at the time I didn’t have much experience with or interest in children. But I applied and was accepted as one of the ten students who got to go for two weeks over the summer in 2006. Leading up to the trip, each participant had to fundraise a certain amount of money to cover their airfare and program expenses through letter writing to family and friends. We also attended weekly meetings to get to know each other, go over program logistics, and to learn more about Russian culture and what it would be like working in the orphanage. In addition to the 10 program participants, there’s also a student leader (who has gone on the service trip before as a participant) plus a faculty leader.
Russia has one of the highest numbers of orphans per 10,000 children in the world. It is estimated that over 1 (possibly 2) million children are living in government-run orphanages, with an additional 1½-2 million living on the streets. Russian officials have stated that only about 10-20% of orphans “survive” within a few years of leaving the orphanages — survive meaning they don’t become a drug addict, a prostitute, homeless, in prison or commit suicide.
Due to overcrowded facilities, children often “graduate” from orphanages when they turn 15 or 16 years old, as outcasts to society with little hope for further education or finding a job. They don’t have family or much of a support system so often turn to drugs, alcohol or crime. If they then have children of their own, it is likely they won’t be able to support them and their children too will become orphaned, feeding into a vicious cycle.
We were told by our translator and guide, Tatyana, that orphanages in Russia are extremely underfunded by the government. Most are in dire physical states, as well as understaffed causing little attention to be given to the children, likely resulting in further mental isolation and feelings of abandonment. Orphanage 105, we were assured, is one of the better ones in Moscow (and probably in all of the country) in terms of facilities and staff. The workers there are fully dedicated and supportive to the children, putting most of their own pay back into the orphanage to keep it going and improve the education and programming for the kids. Due to the volunteer groups they take in as well, the building is well maintained. (Our group helped with stripping lead paint from the bedrooms and common areas and repainting them).
Due to overcrowded facilities, children often “graduate” from orphanages when they turn 15 or 16 years old, as outcasts to society with little hope for further education or finding a job. They don’t have family or much of a support system so often turn to drugs, alcohol or crime. If they then have children of their own, it is likely they won’t be able to support them and their children too will become orphaned, feeding into a vicious cycle.
We were told by our translator and guide, Tatyana, that orphanages in Russia are extremely underfunded by the government. Most are in dire physical states, as well as understaffed causing little attention to be given to the children, likely resulting in further mental isolation and feelings of abandonment. Orphanage 105, we were assured, is one of the better ones in Moscow (and probably in all of the country) in terms of facilities and staff. The workers there are fully dedicated and supportive to the children, putting most of their own pay back into the orphanage to keep it going and improve the education and programming for the kids. Due to the volunteer groups they take in as well, the building is well maintained. (Our group helped with stripping lead paint from the bedrooms and common areas and repainting them).
When we were out exploring Moscow, Tatyana would point out other orphanages with boarded up windows and tell heartbreaking stories of parents too young leaving their babies at the doorsteps. Or toddlers found in nearby dumpsters bruised and malnourished. I found out Kolya was raised by his grandmother for the first several years of his life, but she passed away and so was taken by the state since he had no other family who could support him.
The service trip was a huge eye-opener. Our group learned so much about Russia, what life was formerly like as a soviet state (often a better life for many), and of course fell in love with the dozens of children we connected with. (For an interesting and thought-provoking article on the negative effects of short-term volunteering in orphanages, something I now have a lot of qualms and guilt about in doing in the past, click here). It was heartbreaking saying goodbye to the children we had become attached to, but I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like for them who likely get attached to volunteer groups over and over, only to inevitably be left behind once again.
In the summer of 2008, after my junior year at Wake Forest, I was selected to be the student leader and return to Orphanage 105 with another group of 10 students and faculty leader. When we arrived, the children were lined up to greet us and I was shocked to hear whispers of “Kristin!” “Kristin!” They remembered my name even though two years had passed! Kolya was still there and our bond grew even stronger that year.
I still think about Kolya almost everyday and wonder where he is now. He would be about 17 years old and the odds are he is homeless, an addict, in prison or dead. Even if he does become one of the 10-20% of “survivors” and successfully transitions into society, Igor or Misha or Dima or Andre or Sasha — or any of the other dozens of children from Orphanage 105 that I knew, plus millions of others throughout Russia — likely have not. And my heart breaks everyday because of it.
The service trip was a huge eye-opener. Our group learned so much about Russia, what life was formerly like as a soviet state (often a better life for many), and of course fell in love with the dozens of children we connected with. (For an interesting and thought-provoking article on the negative effects of short-term volunteering in orphanages, something I now have a lot of qualms and guilt about in doing in the past, click here). It was heartbreaking saying goodbye to the children we had become attached to, but I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like for them who likely get attached to volunteer groups over and over, only to inevitably be left behind once again.
In the summer of 2008, after my junior year at Wake Forest, I was selected to be the student leader and return to Orphanage 105 with another group of 10 students and faculty leader. When we arrived, the children were lined up to greet us and I was shocked to hear whispers of “Kristin!” “Kristin!” They remembered my name even though two years had passed! Kolya was still there and our bond grew even stronger that year.
I still think about Kolya almost everyday and wonder where he is now. He would be about 17 years old and the odds are he is homeless, an addict, in prison or dead. Even if he does become one of the 10-20% of “survivors” and successfully transitions into society, Igor or Misha or Dima or Andre or Sasha — or any of the other dozens of children from Orphanage 105 that I knew, plus millions of others throughout Russia — likely have not. And my heart breaks everyday because of it.